the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Randomize
