There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
