her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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