i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
