I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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