Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
