I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
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