Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
