Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
