As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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