let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
