genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Randomize
