I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
