I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
