that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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