K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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