You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
