dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
The power of my boobs compel you
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
