I just cut my nipple shaving
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
