Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
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