Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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