I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
