I'm drive I can fine osifer
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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