I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
