So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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