**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
