I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
