Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm like, not good at living.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
