i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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