are you still at the devil's house?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
