I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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