its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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