I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
