You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
you are never too drunk for berry picking
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
