The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
