If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
