I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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