on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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