Is it normal to miss your booty call?
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
