Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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