ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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