he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
