guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
