rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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