i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
