Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
