OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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