Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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