Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
