Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Come share oat with me in your robe
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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